A Few Fresh Fascinations
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I’ve developed several new and fantastic interests recently, and I shouldn’t admit to any of them. But since I’m presently doing all I can to avoid my homework, I feel that I have no choice. Here they are in no particular order:
- Dance Dance Revolution: affectionately known as DDR, this may be the only video game on earth that it’s dorky to stink at, and yet dorkier to excel at. It’s great exercise, especially if you add in your own extraneous dance moves, and the only common side effects are delusions of grandeur, sore calves, and the ridicule of your peers.
- E-cards: just like chain mail and fruitcake, these are aren’t appropriate to send to anyone… ever. And if they get past the spam-filters and firewalls, they can be very embarrassing for the recipient who opens them in the workplace. I highly recommend the teen section, although I’m not sure that this particular e-card is appropriate for teens or anyone else.
- Girls: also known as babes, dames, damsels, and pumpkins. Like shoes and couches, girls are inappropriate to order by mail except in remote areas where they are otherwise unavailable, ie. traplines, offshore oil rigs, and Canada. Caution: highly addictive; do not mix with alcohol; avoid while operating heavy machinery; consult physician if experiencing undue side effects; may cause headache, upset stomach, hair loss, tunnel vision, depression, heart complications, and in rare cases, severe psychosis.
- Nanny 911: not to be confused with the now defunct Rescue 911, this TV show portrays families that are likely more dysfunctional than your own. Luckily, these nannies neither fly nor spontaneously break into song, and they always seem to save the day. Warning: men should not watch the last five minutes of Nanny 911 in the presence of other men or grouchy feminists.
Update on November 6, 2006 at 02:15AM by
Andrew Stark
Andrew Stark
After an extremely enjoyable Sunday afternoon, I must add shooting high-powered rifles to this list. Hopefully, I’ll be shooting a large mammal next weekend instead of a badly drawn paper target.
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