A. Stark Place

…then at least get the rest of your house in order. What you, and pretty much all the folks who are under suspicion for using steroids, don’t seem to get is that people will only believe you insofar as you show to them that you have good character. You could at least pretend to be a decent person.

But Barry, why should I believe you? Sure, you haven’t tested positive, but you did cheat on your wife, you’re so self-centered as to be delusional, you refer to yourself in the third person, and you have a nasty habit of alienating your teammates. And I’m supposed to believe you? If my own brother had, like you, mysteriously doubled his muscle mass while in his thirties, and he had also acted like you, I would not believe that he hadn’t used steroids. Would you?

Sorry, Barry. I am not trying to bring you down, here. I just have no reason to believe you, and yet you have provided a whole schwak of reasons not to. In fact, almost nobody believes you anymore. But don’t cry! It’s not all bad. You refer to yourself in the third person, which should make it easy to whine to the one person who still listens to you.

And when you hit 714, I’ll probably think about just how great Babe Ruth must have been. After all, you were a great hitter, but unlike him you got to do all that cheating.

Related Tags: Barry Bonds, Steroids