A. Stark Place

I’ve had a Hotmail account for at least 8 years now, and I don’t plan to get rid of it anytime soon. This may come as a surprise to anyone aware that I have a POP email account on a local server, and that this account is, as you may imagine, much more convenient to use. Yet, there are two reasons why I keep my Hotmail account. The first reason is that some of my friends have so far been incapable of sending mail to my newer and more useful account. The second and more important reason may surprise you, but then again, you may find yourself signing up for your own account after hearing what this reason is.

I am the first to admit that I take my Hotmail account for granted most of the time. After all, it’s relatively slow and unreliable, it has ads, and it’s part of MSN—Yeck! Yet Hotmail isn’t just an ordinary email account, oh no, it’s so much more! After all, my POP account never picked me up when I was down.

And down is just what I have been lately, and it all started because of the nasty cold I picked up about ten days ago. It made me feel so awful that I could only muster enough energy for passive activities like watching TV. So, apart from some short, necessary, and often disturbing breaks, TV watching was what I had been doing almost exclusively until yesterday when I started feeling better. Watching that much TV always makes me blue, since most programming is either drab, or base, or shallow, or meaningless, or offensive, or annoying, and often all of the above. Even the news is depressing. So my stock in humanity had fallen to an all-time low when I finally checked my hotmail account yesterday after almost two weeks of neglect.

Who knew? …almost 200 messages! …almost all of them for me! Each one bringing me closer to a restored faith in humanity. Each one representing an unique and altruistic personality—someone who really cares. Granted I don’t need charity and thus haven’t replied to any of them, yet that someone would take the time to write me an email offering their assistance makes my heart swell with pride to have two legs, walk upright, and know how to spell “Coca-Cola”. Why on July 3 alone I received offers for free samples of Olay Body Reviver and Jergens Glow, a free Old Navy Gift Card, a $500 dollar Home Shopping Spree, money to start my own eBay business, a free Rolex-quality watch, and some tasty KFC chicken! There was also someone going by the name of “Waiting 4 U” who just wanted to know where I am, presumably so they can make sure I’m okay. I admit that there were also a few that would be inappropriate to discuss here that were nonetheless very flattering, and some that contained unfortunate spelling and usage mistakes, but it is really the thought that counts.

And that was only one day’s worth. Elsewhere in the 200 emails were numerous offers for free products, help with my debts, and some Nigerian offers for what seem to be excellent business opportunities. It all just makes me want to put on some of those rubber bracelets like Lance Armstrong and Bono wear, buy a Toyota Prius, and drive around picking up homeless hitchhikers so I can feed them my famous cous-cous salad.

I’m back! And I’m not feeling sorry for myself anymore! And it’s all thanks to Hotmail. Get an account and restore your faith in humanity today.

Technorati Tags: Hotmail, humanity, charity